Its a new year, which means that we are all looking for ways to start fresh and improve our lives! You've gone to the gym, gone shopping and set aside time to meditate. You've promised to tend to your personal needs better this year as you may have neglected yourself last year. When we think of living an all around healthy lifestyle, we think of physical exercise, eating right, and taking time for our mental health. But what about your sex life? Our sex lives are something that is too often neglected or put on the back burner. Our lives get hectic and sometimes you come home to your partner, kiss them goodnight and pass out within minutes of laying in your bed. All the while, telling yourself that you will set aside time for intimacy with your partner, but forgetting about it. So what should you do when you both notice that spark that was once so bright, is beginning to dim a smidgen? Read on for a list of steps that could help reignite that much needed spark between you and your partner!
1. Communication
Lets start with communication as without it, no relationship stands a chance. If you or your partner feel that your sex life is lacking, sitting down and having a conversation about it would be one of the best things to do. It is so important that you and your significant other stay on the same wave length when it comes to important parts of your relationship such as your sex life. Sharing your feelings with one another allows the other person to deeply understand how you are feeling. Talk about steps you both can take to better your sex life in little ways. As long as you are both willing to put in the effort, there is no reason that you can't work together to overcome any obstacle that you might face!
2. Do Something New
Break out of the box that you're trapped in and try something new! Changing up your routine can stir up a rush of excitement that you have been missing in your relationship! If your regular date night involves going to your local movie theater and heading right home afterwards, this is your chance to shake things up. Try going out to a new romantic restaurant or walking the beach at night. Surprise your partner by wearing a sexy piece of lingerie under your date night outfit! Send them a picture of you in the outfit before you go on the date to give them a quick tease of what they can look forward to later in the night. Pick up a panty vibe with a remote before date night and surprise her by asking her to wear it before leaving for the date. That will definitely set the mood for the rest of the date. If you often go out for date night, plan a night to stay in and cook together. A great tip is to look up aphrodisiac recipes! You can even find an aphrodisiac cookbook here.
3. Go on a Weekend Getaway
Get out of town! Or don't! Going on a weekend getaway can give you the much needed time to reconnect sexually with your partner. That being said, you do not need to go on some 5 star Caribbean vacation to enjoy a weekend with your partner. You don't even need to leave town! Find a nice hotel in your area and treat yourselves for the weekend. Make it your goal to stay in your robes all weekend and order room service. Bring rose petals and candles and set the mood in your room. Getting away for a few days with your significant other can really help the both of you leave your every day responsibilities and stress behind and force you to focus on one another.
4. Watch an erotic movie together
I bet you read #4 and were like "Seriously?" Yes, seriously! Obviously you want to sit down with your partner and make sure he/she is on board with the idea because we don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable. Research has shown that couples that watch pornography together find that they are overall more satisfied with their sex life. Watching an adult film with your partner can be very sexually exciting and open you up to new ideas! Now, it is important to remember that Adult film stars are PAID PROFESSIONALS that often do above and beyond what the average person can do or handle. And they are trained to do these things. A tip we like to give to people that will be watching porn with their partner for the first time is to look up porn bloopers! It can help to ease any anxiety or nerves you might have about watching videos with your significant other!
5. Try a Sexual Education Class
No, I am not talking about taking Sex Ed. like you did in high school. I'm talking about taking an adult sexual education course! Here at Intimates Boutique we offer classes every couple of months that focus on different topics. Some classes that we have offered in the past have been "How to Find Your G-Spot 101", "The Safe Way to Booty Play", "Intro to Erotic Lap Dance", and much more! Try to find a class that focuses on a subject that you and your partner have either been wanting to try or something that you find a bit intimidating! Remember that knowledge is power so taking a sex class on something that you are nervous about trying could ease your nerves and give you the push that you need to try out that activity that you may end up loving! Its important to be open minded and outgoing when you're attending these classes so that you are able to openly discuss any questions or concerns you might have.
6. Try a New Toy
Step out of the box, walk into your local adult store, and try something new! We all have our favorite toy that we love to use during sexy time... But doesn't it get boring to pick up the same toy over and over again? We understand that picking out a new toy can be overwhelming and a bit intimidating. However, our staff at Intimates is prepared to walk you through our favorite and highly recommended toys. The idea of you and your partner having a brand new toy waiting for you at home can be super exciting and definitely add a refreshed to your sex life! Stepping out of your comfort zone in the bedroom is essential to sharing a happy, healthy, and growing sex life with your significant other!
7. Try a Different Position
Falling into a routine during sex can be nice sometimes but 9 times out of 10 it only leads to both parties becoming bored. Try taking a break from missionary and trying a new sex position. You don't have to get crazy and bend your body into strange and uncomfortable positions, but maybe try switching up whose on top and whose on the bottom. Pick up a Sex Position Book and flip through the pages to find something you find interesting! In doing this you may find a position that is more comfortable or increases pleasure for you and your partner and that's a win-win for everyone!
8. Add Lubricant
This sounds so simple. And it really is. Yet there are still so many stigma's that surround the use of personal lubricant. Using lube does not mean that you as a woman have a dry vagina or any other medical issues. And it definitely does not mean that you as a man cannot arouse your partner well enough to make her wet. Using lube can make sex more comfortable, pleasurable, and better overall for women and men! Lube will help prevent any damage or abrasions to the fragile tissue of the vagina or the penis. You can read more about lubricants and why we use them here.
9. Mutual Masturbation
Mutual masturbation is when you and your partner masturbate together. I know that you're sitting here reading this thinking "I am not doing that". Well, there are so many reasons why you should. The idea of pleasuring yourself in front of your partner can be embarrassing and scary. You might even feel like they are going to judge you in the way that you do it. If you and your partner have open and honest communication, I can almost promise you that your partner is not going to judge you but they will actually be a bit turned on. Another great result that can come out of mutual masturbation is allowing your partner to witness exactly what makes you feel good. Watching the way your partner touches themselves can help you understand how they like to be touched allowing you to use that gained knowledge the next time you and your partner engage in sexual activity. Mutual masturbation will open many doors in your sex life bringing you and your partner closer together!
10. Have Patience
The most important tip to keep in mind is to have patience. Improving your sex life takes time and lots of effort from both parties. You cannot expect for any issues to fix themselves over night as that is unrealistic. Have faith in your relationship with your partner and understand that as long as you are both more than willing to try new things and do whatever it takes to reignite the spark in your sex life, it will happen!