Transgender folk and the sex we have (or more like how we have it) isn't talked about very often because to some it is still seen as taboo. Well I (a non-binary person with dysphoria) am here to talk about the sex we have and even give a few tips and product suggestions along the way!
Lets get some of the terms out of the way first!
Trans-masculine: A term used to describe transgender people who generally were assigned female at birth and identify with a masculine gender identity to a greater extent than with a feminine gender identity. Usually transmasculine people try to appear stereo typically masculine in terms in their gender expression in order to create social recognition of their dominant masculine identity.
Trans-feminine: a term used to describe transgender people who generally were assigned male at birth and identify with a feminine gender identity to a greater extent than with a masculine gender identity. Usually transfeminine people try to appear stereo typically feminine in terms in their gender expression in order to create social recognition of their dominant feminine identity.
Non-Binary: describes any gender identity which does not fit the male and female binary spectrum. Non-binary people may also identify as transgender and/or transsexual. The label genderqueer has a lot of overlap with non-binary.
FtM (Trans Man): a term which describes someone who is both a man and transgender/transsexual. Trans men were assigned female at birth, but their gender identity is male. They may be referred to as transmasculine. Some trans men wish to transition in order to change their sex characteristics and gender expression to become more masculine.
MtF (Trans Woman):a term which describes someone who is both a woman and transgender/transsexual. Trans women were assigned male at birth but their gender identity is female. They may be referred to as transfeminine.
Intersex: An intersex person has sex characteristics such as sexual anatomy, reproductive organs, and/or chromosome patterns that do not fit the typical definition of male or female. This may be apparent at birth or become so later in life e.g. puberty.
AFAB: Assigned female at birth.
AMAB: Assigned male at birth.
Now these are just a few of the many terms/identities that are out there. And even if someone may fall under these terms in some way, it doesn't mean they identify with that term specifically. It is also to point out that any transfeminine or transmasculine person can consider themselves to be either non-binary or binary trans.
Pre-op: Those who plan to have surgery but not yet done so.
Post-op: Those who have already had surgery.
No-op: Those who do not wish to include surgery in their transition.
HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy): a medical procedure in which a transgender person takes hormones in order to alter their sex characteristics. It is commonly a part of a medical transition
Sex Vs Gender: Sex is a label — male or female — that you’re assigned by a doctor at birth based on the genitals you’re born with and the chromosomes you have. It goes on your birth certificate. Gender identity is how you feel inside and how you express your gender through clothing, behavior, and personal appearance. It’s a feeling that begins very early in life.
It is also important to not that your gender identity is different from your sexual orientation. Any of the above (and other identities) can be any sexual orientation.
Getting down to it:
Now, sex for trans folk isn't completely different than sex for cisgender people. It may sometimes include a couple extra parts, like a strap-on of some form, a breast plate, honestly anything that makes you feel comfortable. Comfort is one of the biggest things I could probably point out. So many trans people experience dysphoria is some way or another and that affects the way you feel during sex, how you participate in it, and how you even want to be touched. Another big thing to mention is that your experience as a trans person may be extremely different that another trans person that, and that is okay!
Transmasc/FtM person
Its good to point out that not every trans person wants to have surgery to affirm their gender, so every trans body is different. Some trans men may still have a vulva and breasts while others may have neither or one of them. There are also some who choose to bind their breast to help them appear to have a flat chest without having to get top surgery or before they get the surgery. Some trans men may also choose never to start HRT and some will to alter their bodies. HRT can cause different change depending on your biology. Some people sometimes describe it as going through puberty again and you may experience hair growth, acne, and bottom growth. No matter your walk in life, your body is valid.
If you are a trans man that chooses to not get bottom surgery but still what to feel like you have a penis or use some from of male masturbation toys, there are most definitely options out there for you! For every day out and about, packing is a good gender affirming option for some; I personally do it every so often. My favorite packing bottoms are jock style bottoms like these and I switch between wearing an STP (stand to pee) and a regular packer, so I don't particularly have a favorite piece. When it comes to chest binding, I don't have much personal experience with it, but I have found a good article by Clue that talks about some of the ins and outs about it!
Transfemme/MtF person
Just like a trans man, a transgender woman may also choose not to get any form of surgery or get one or both kinds of surgery. HRT is also an option that changes the body in many ways like growing breast. If a trans woman decides to not get surgery but still want to visibly alter their bodies there are options like wearing a chest plate to make appear like they have a chest or tucking which is positioning the penis and testicles to create the appearance of flatness. Again, everyone's journey is different and any path you take is valid. Unfortunately there isn't much information on the web about pre/no-op trans women, but I will try my best to be as informative as possible.
It all starts with comfort and how you want your body touched. Some trans women that are pre/no-op want their penis to be stimulated and some don't. HRT does affect some penises, making the skin softer and more sensitive; there is also the possibility of experiencing erectile dysfunction but still being able to reach an orgasm. If you or your partner still want penis play, you can use a stroker like these ones by Tenga or if you or your partner want to treat it more like a clitoris (which the penis essentially is) you can use a small vibrator or a wand.
I hope that you, your partner, or someone close to you has learned something of value from this. There are so many other amazing resources out there to be discovered and help you when you need support the most.
