Pegging: A Beginners Guide
What is pegging?
The term pegging is used when a woman puts on a harness and strap on dildo and uses it to penetrate her male partner in his anus. Essentially reversing the usual roles and allowing the female to be the giver for a change.
Lets address the elephant in the room (the elephant created by insecurities within society in order to suck the fun out of everything) Enjoying being pegged DOES NOT mean you are gay. For some reason the stigma of being homosexual has stuck to any and all anal play when it comes to men. This is not true whatsoever. Enjoying anal play has nothing to do with your sexuality and everything to do with pleasure!
So what might make someone want to peg or be pegged? For women, its often the feeling of dominance or power over their man that will lead them to want to peg him. And for men wanting to be dominated might be a big reason but the pleasure alone is more than a good enough reason to want to be pegged!
Why does being pegged feel so good?
Besides the fact that anal stimulation in general can be very pleasurable for some, for men pegging can stimulate the prostate which has often been referred to as the male g-spot because of how pleasurable it can feel when massaged. The prostate is a walnut sized gland located on the inside of the anus about two-three inches inside on the front side of the body. When getting pegged, the strap on dildo will rub over the prostate with each stroke.
Preparation is Key!
The first way to prepare for a pegging session, would be mental preparation. For the receiver this would mean to relax your body and your mind. If you are in your head telling yourself that pegging will hurt... then guess what? It will hurt. If you tell yourself that this will be pleasurable if you relax, stay calm, and breathe, you are more likely to enjoy being pegged. Both your partner and yourself should be prepared as well at the thought of coming into contact with fecal matter. Obviously you're entering an area where fecal matter may be present which in turn means that you may find trace amounts when engaging in any type of anal play. The receiver should try to use the restroom before anal play if they are very worried about coming into contact with poo!
The next step would be to choose your lubricant.
Now pay attention to this next part because it is extremely important: There is NO such thing as too much lubricant! Especially for anal play since the anus is not self lubricating. Trying any sort of anal play without proper lubrication can result in pain, discomfort, and even injury. At Intimates Boutique, we highly recommend hybrid lubricants over silicone or water based lubes for pegging. Why? Water based lubes tend to dry up quickly and leave a tacky residue on the skin. Obviously its super inconvenient to have to stop every few minutes to apply more lube. Silicone lubes are great for anal play! However silicone lubricants are not toy safe unless you have a toy that is metal or glass. So a hybrid lubricant is a happy medium between the two. Often hybrid lubricants are a mix of water based and a minuscule amount of silicone, but usually its such a small percentage of silicone that it doesn't harm your toys the way a pure silicone lubricant would. Below are some of our best selling hybrid lubricants:
Harnesses/Strap-on Dildos
Choosing which harness and strap on dildo you want to use is something that should be done together. Usually the harness is chosen by the giver and the strap-on dildo is chosen by the receiver. When choosing your harness, make sure you choose one that is adjustable so you can be positive that it fits you comfortably in all the right places. Getting one too big won't allow for good penetration and getting one too small will be uncomfortable to keep on. The next thing to think about would be material that the harness is made out of. A harsh material can rub you the wrong way while being used and leave itchiness, marks or material burns on your skin. Another add on you may want to look for when choosing a harness is pocket for a vibrating bullet. This can provide the harness wearer with pleasure as the bullet will be held right against their genitals. Take a look at our most popular ones here:
Velvet Knit Adjustable Pink Harness w/ Pocket
Em.Ex Active Harness Wear by Sportsheets
Choosing your strap-on dildo can be a little longer of a process as you want to make sure you are choosing the right size, shape and material for you and its not something you can just try on! When thinking about shape, as a beginner, it may be a little easier to get something that doesn't have too much texture or many ridges. A slight curve can be great for pegging as it'll hit the prostate a bit easier. The size is something you have to give a lot of thought to. my recommendation is to always start off with something smaller rather than bigger. Its better to work your way up slowly than start with something that's way too big and end up hurting yourself. If you can insert your finger or your partner's finger with ease then try to find something the size of a finger or slightly larger. If a finger is still causing a bit of discomfort try to go for something a little bit smaller. Below are some of our best selling dildos for pegging:
Pro Tip: Just because you see a certain size dildo in a pegging set, does not mean it is the right size for YOU. Take a look at some of these all in one pegging sets:
Material for your strap-on dildo is also important. #1 is choosing a hygienic, non porous material for your dildo as it will be used anally which will introduce it to fecal matter/bacteria. A silicone dildo is highly recommended for pegging. You can use a jelly, cyberskin, TPE, or TPR material however you may experience a bit more drag with those materials vs a silicone dildo, which can cause a bit of discomfort depending on the person.
Pro Tip: Use a condom on your dildos. It will give you piece of mind with extra cleanliness & it will help them last longer as well.
Let's Talk About Numbing Agents:
When it comes to anal desensitizing/numbing agents, proceed with caution. Remember that they will help numb any discomfort you may have during anal penetration but that may not always be a good thing. If you can't feel pain or discomfort during anal, you may not know if something is too much and could end up with serious injury like tearing the anus. Use a bit of numbing cream/gel/lube at a time and start slow. If something doesn't feel right, ALWAYS stop.
Another way to prepare before being pegged, would be foreplay! In my personal opinion, foreplay is a MUST in every sexual scenario you might find yourself in. Foreplay helps your body relax, arouses you and sets you in the right state of mind for pleasure. It can also serve as a distraction from something you might feel a bit nervous about, such as being pegged.
Pro tip: Use a small vibrating anal toy to perform a rim job or light penetration before pegging. The vibration will not only help your muscles in that area relax, but it'll feel good as well!
C O M M U N I C A T E
And I cannot stress this enough.. Communicate! It is so important that both parties express their feelings when it comes to partaking in any sexual activity together. Each partner should be fully aware of how their partner is feeling at all times. Before engaging in any type of sexual activity, communicate your limits to each other. so there is less chance of anyone pushing the others limits to an uncomfortable point. All parties involved must be open minded and feel heard so that no one ends up feeling overwhelmed or pushed past their limits. And the communication should not stop at just before the sexual activity. Talk to each other during the process... the giver should be asking the receiver questions like, "Is this okay" "Do you feel alright" whereas the receiver can be saying things like "Slow down" "Harder" or whatever they feel like in that moment. Its important to ask the giver how they feel as well as it may be overwhelming for some to switch roles in that way. It can be very easy to feel disconnected from your partner after trying something new and not having a conversation about it. The last part of communication would be communication after the activity during the recovery time.
Make sure to ask the important questions:
-How was that for you?
-Was there anything you didn't like/did like?
-How are you feeling right now?
These questions should be asked by both the giver AND the receiver to make sure everyone is taken care of and feels good about the sex they were just a part of.
Most Important Pro Tip:
Have fun and enjoy this new experience with your partner. Let it bring you closer together and open your mind to new sexual adventures since its an extremely important and healthy part of life.
- Melissa S
Comments 1
Sarah
Me and my partner will deff be coming in to check this stuff out