How to Keep the Spark Alive in Long-Distance Relationships
Wilbur |
In this new age of technology, long-distance relationships are more commonplace than most people realize. I was in a long-distance relationship for almost a year before my partner and I moved in together, and it can undoubtedly be rough on anyone! Long-distance has its ups and downs, but the most common problem is trying to keep the spark alive while living apart and fearing that their partners may lose interest in them due to not being able to physically see and spend time with them.
I've had people come into our store and say, "At first, everything was fine; we were in love and having fun, until recently when my other half seemed much colder and distant than before." Your partner pulling away or becoming distant can be scary for people in any relationship, but it hits long-distance couples the hardest. Sometimes this can come down to the simple fact that you've stopped trying to seduce your partner. By that, I mean that you've left the honeymoon phase - which is inevitable! But instead of treating your partner like you're still trying to date them, you've settled into them being a regular part of your everyday life, and you start losing that spark.
So, what do I mean by "seduce" them? I'm referring to making them want to invest more in this relationship by presenting it as a fun challenge rather than a dull experience. All relationships can get stale over time, so it's up to both parties to keep that flame alive - and there are plenty of ways to do so.
1) Bring Back Your Seductive Side
Most of the time, couples complain about not being able to preserve the spark they felt at the beginning and do not know how to bring it back.
Well, if you had it at first, go back there - starting again from the beginning might be a good idea!
Indeed, it is likely that when everything was fine with your relationship, your partner was seduced by your personality, the way you speak, your qualities, your charisma, and your authenticity, that is to say, by a seductive side of you. If you doubt your seduction power today, ask yourself which aspects you may have neglected; your partner probably realized it before you and could have been turned off by that.
The idea here is to take back the proper habits that seduced your partner back in the day to light that fire and, this time, not let it fade.
2) Surprise Your Partner with a Care Package
Sending care packages is my favorite tip overall, which my partner and I utilized when we were long-distance. Sending gifts lets your partner know you're thinking of them and gives them something to remind you of them - and it doesn't have to be only sentimental gifts, either. I cannot recommend enough how lovely of an idea it is to plan an "intimate date night" over call. Send your partner an app-based toy, like the fan-favorite We-Vibe Chorus, and some supplemental items, like some lingerie you think they'd look nice in, a new makeup palette, some chocolates, or more, and have them call you when you're both free. Plus, the Chorus can be used during intercourse if - and when - you two see each other in person.
Hand-curating a care package for your loved one is a fantastic way to stay intimate, and there's no need to wait for a special occasion. If you and your partner frequently go months without seeing each other, feel free to make this a regular part of your relationship. Keep the timing of the care packages wholly random and the contents fun and personalized.
3) Have a Virtual Dinner Date
One of the best ways to connect with your partner on a date night is by sharing a meal. And, thanks to technology, you can now do this even if you're miles apart. All you need is a laptop, tablet, or smartphone, and you can share dinner in no time.
Holding a successful dinner date is simple; plan the exact time, be ready by then, and enjoy company time with your partner no matter how far apart the two of you are. Make sure you've already prepared or ordered your food so that you can start eating at the same time. Remember some wine (or your drink of choice) to make it feel even more like an actualdate.
Lastly, set the mood by lighting candles and playing soft music in the background. From there, hop on to Zoom or FaceTime and get ready to have a lovely dinner date with your partner.
Personal tip: if you've introduced your partner to app-based toys through care packages, the two of you can even segway from a romantic dinner to a sexy night in easily. If this is your plan, though, I'd recommend video calling over a laptop or computer so that your phone will still be accessible for controlling the toy, and you don't have to try to focus on something other than your partner and their reactions.
4) Cook Together
Speaking of food, cooking together over video can be a fun way to keep in touch with one another. They say food is the way to the soul, and though your partner may not be able to taste what you cook, the two of you can follow the same recipe and share some laughs along the way.
Are you still trying to decide what to cook? There are plenty of resources online that can help you out. For example, Tasty has tons of great recipe videos you can follow together Or, if you're feeling adventurous, you could even make up your recipe. Make sure you have all the ingredients you need before you start cooking. That way, you can be both on the same page while trying to cook together and ensure you get similar results.
Living apart can be stressful and may raise concerns about your partner becoming unfaithful or not communicating correctly. Though these tips may not solve every issue, they can help keep that flame alive between you and help you two feel closer than ever. I used some of these tips with my partner to help stay in touch alongside regular texting and calling, and I'm happy to say that our long-distance relationship was as strong as it is now that we're living together. Give some of these a try, and put your twists on them; who knows, maybe the two of you will feel like you're back in your honeymoon phase again!
