So there are so many reason that a person with a vagina can experience discomfort during sex. I personally experience discomfort depending on positioning, size of toy, and even mental blocks. I am going to share some possible solutions and a few toys that may help.
Shifting hormones, childbirth, mental blocks, menopause, and so many other things can affect the vagina and how it responds before, during, and after sex.
Dryness or the ability to create much of your own natural lubricant is on of the most common reasons for discomfort. Lubricant is one of the best ways to ease that. The kind of lubricant you use is up to you but hybrids and water bases are our favorite to suggest. Hybrids have a small amount of silicone in them so they last a decent amount of time before having to reapply unlike water bases that soak into the skin and sometimes can get a little tacky.
Another way to help with dryness is trying more foreplay. Foreplay is often looked over but it is very important. Kissing, sensual massages, touching erogenous zones, or even watching an adult movie together are great foreplay. Going slow and steady always wins the race! Foreplay can also help ease mental blocks for someone who may be shy, a little embarrassed, or lack body confidence.
Positioning for some people plays a big part in comfort and there are ways to ease that. A position aid like a liberator or inflatable pillow can help raise the hips a little in either missionary or doggy (they can also open up new orgasmic experiences.) You could also simply stack up a few pillows or fold up a few blankets under you or your partner to help if you don't have a position pillow.
The biggest thing that you can do along with any of these options is have an open conversation with your partner so they can know how to better help and please you in a comfortable way. Communication should always be top priority!
Written by Charlie (They/He)
Sex Educator at Intimates Boutique
I have been a certified sexual health expert here since Nov 2018. I enjoy sharing my knowledge and even learning some more along the way!