Before we jump into debunking some BDSM myths, let me tell you a few things. BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominant and submissive, Sadism and Masochism. It is a dynamic that is shared between consenting adults. It is also not always what media leads it to be. I am going to be debunking common myths about this kink!
MYTH: The Woman Has To Be Submissive
Nope! The woman most definitely does not have to be a submissive. She can be what she pleases, like a Dominant or even a switch (a person who enjoys being both!)
MYTH: BDSM is emotionally damaging
BDSM is not emotionally damaging. After every scene there is something called after care. That is where the Dominant takes care of the submissive or visa-versa. It is also always good to make sure that during a scene that all parties feel safe. After care is great because everyone can talk about what things they may have not liked or actions that may have had an unintended outcome.
MYTH: You need a Christian Grey-esque Red Room to participate in BDSM
50 Shades of Grey has led a lot of people to believe that you have to have all the bells and whistles to do anything BDSM related. Well, that is not true. The basic needs are a Dom(me), a sub, and an imagination. All the whips, toys, and furniture are just fun add-ons to heighten the experience!
MYTH: Age-players are Pedophiles
This is a very common misconception about the community. Again, these are consenting adults! Age-playing is basic terms is when you act younger than you are! And no, people who participate in this are not working through emotional damage.
MYTH: Real subs don’t have safe words
Wrong! Safe words are so very important!! They are used when the sub (and even in some cases the Doms) feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Before any scene there should always be a safe word established no matter how calm or extreme it is.