Sensuality Vs. Sexuality
By definition, to be sensual is to be preoccupied with the gratification of the senses, so sensuality is our ability to feel pleasurable sensation through our senses of touch, scent, taste, sight and sound. To be sensual with someone can sound kind of borderline, especially if you have a platonic relationship with them. Sensuality and sexuality are often lumped into the same category, but they are two very different qualities with unique capacities that contribute to our well-being in different ways. Savoring decadent foods, feeling the texture of grass against bare feet, walking along the beach with a good friend, these sensual experiences are pleasurable, but they don't necessarily have to be connected to an erotic or sexual turn on. These experiences can just be shared, enjoyed and cherished with the same intensity without ever being sexual.
Lots of couples can lose their sensuality between each other as life goes on. There isn't as much time or energy to pay attention to each others desires, wants and needs. Even best friends of many years can forget to connect on a sensual level if life gets in the way. It's really important to keep up with these experiences, not just for the other person, but for you as well! There are lots of small, significant things you can do with you friends or partner to let them know you still see them, care about them, and know they need more than what they're getting. If you think of the word "sensual" as a tree with many branches, the word "sexual" is only one of its branches, while other branches could include things like great food, striking art, visually compelling film, and other extravagant luxuries that make your heart flutter just like sex. The purpose of this blog is to understand the difference between sensuality and sexuality, as well as bring some sensuality into your life where you feel you need it. Let's get sensual!
Simple events like going to have coffee or going on a run, these are things we take for granted every day. But truly, activities like this are awesome for opening up, letting loose, and enjoying the little things. Sensuality is all about enjoying the little things! Sensuality refers to all senses including pleasure induced by touching pleasing textures, tasting and feeling textured foods, listening to and being emotionally compelled by different music and tones, being internally touched by literature and poetry and also visually touched through textures and colors. For example, having a hot bath with essential bath oils and bubbles is sensual, but it’s not sexual. Even sharing this luxurious bath with your partner doesn't have to be sexual, but it's an amazing experience to share. Taking a friend out for a massage together, going to a brand new restaurant you've never been to before, these are all more examples of sensual activities. Not everyone can travel the world and taste 100 different foods and see 100 different breathtaking places together, so staying small is always a good way to go! Everyone is different, but everyone needs a sensual moment from time to time.
Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, roles and relationships. Sexuality can include all of these dimensions, but not all of them are always experienced or expressed at the same time. Sexuality is influenced by the interaction of biological, psychological, and sometimes spiritual factors. Like the bold text says in the beginning, think of sensuality like a tree and sexuality is one of it's many branches. Sex is sensual, but being sensual isn't inherently sexual. When you have intercourse with your partner, you want to take care of them and please them, but it's a very romantic, emotional kind of care that isn't necessarily part of the day to day care you give them. It's a unique, beautiful moment together, and a similar intensity to the care you give when you draw them a hot bath and share a bath bomb or light a candle, it's with a full heart and love in mind!
I really really really wanted to talk about this because we are super duper excited to be carrying Chakrubs in our store soon!! If you're not familiar with yoni eggs, they're a larger egg like ben wa ball, and unlike ben wa balls they are made out of body safe crystals! Crystal healing is a very commonly observed in meditation and is often related to the chakras, which align the body so energy can flow freely through the body. When you select a certain crystal, you pick it for the properties it will give you. For example, The Rose Bud by Chakrubs is made of rose quartz and will enhance and encourage unconditional love, compassion, peace, tenderness, and emotional wellness and healing. Or the Obsidian, which shields against negativity, transmutes negative energy, increases self-control, and connects the mind to your emotions. If you'd like to learn more about yoni eggs and crystal healing, we'll be carrying "Crystal Healing and Sacred Pleasure" in our store along with our Chakrubs collection! We can't wait to show them to you!
Being Sensual with Yourself
Oh yeah, folks, we're going to focus on ourselves in this paragraph! Everyone needs a little mental, physical and sensual healing and repair. We go to work every day, eat probably the same easy lunch, do the same things at the same time Every. Single. Day. Monotonous daily tasks can really distract us from taking care of ourselves when we get home. That's why being sensual with not only others, but yourself is super important. Self sensuality can be sexual, but it never really has to be. In a study done by TENGA in 2016, (in this survey, the test group was allowed to vote for two common uses) surveyors reported that 54% of them will masturbate for stress relief, about 59% said they'd done it to relieve sexual tension, and 56% said they've masturbated for their own pleasure. Masturbation is definitely a form of self sensuality, but so is going to the gym, taking a shower with the music on blast, or making yourself a comfort meal like mac and cheese with extra extra extra cheese and bacon.
As we grow up, we become more self-conscious and tend to turn off our sensual side because we become too wrapped up in our thoughts and beliefs or what other people think of us. Some wonderful sensual activities you can engage in are mind-body-spirit practices such as yoga, massage, meditation and crystal healing. And that isn't to say you have to go join a yoga class or meditation group, you can find tutorials and suggestions for regiments online or on Youtube so you can do them in the comfort of your own home! Even 15-25 minutes a day of relaxation, whether it's yoga, exercising your pelvic floor with a beautiful yoni egg, or that mac and cheese we were talking about, its all you need to get in touch with your sensual side. And when it comes to others, remember the love you give and express when engaging in some quality time with your partner or friends is so necessary in a loving relationship. It's fulfilling not only for yourself but for the people in your life that make every day just that much better!
Below is a video with more information about Chakrubs! Enjoy!
- Maddie V