Welcome to a helpful beginners blog for prostate and anal play! Jumping into this article means you're interested in prostate play but you're not quite sure where to start, or you've just heard of this new fad and you want to know the low down first. We'll be talking about prostate importance and anal play first, and then move into specific toys we recommend for first time players, and some of our favorite toys all around. Let's start with why we play with the prostate and a few different ways to play!
Massaging the Question
What is a prostate? Why do guys have one? What's it's purpose and function, or it it totally useless and just meant for pleasure only? These are some common questions we get asked, and they're always great questions! The prostate is a acorn/walnut sized gland in the body that is located between the anus and the testicles. It's a highly sensitive area in the body that regulates hormones and produces fluid that carries the semen out of the body. The Prostate can be hard to find if not properly aroused prior to prodding, but with a little foreplay help, it will swell with seminal fluid and become much easier to find. When men experience symptoms such as difficulty keeping or getting an erection, difficulty or painful ejaculation, and in more serious cases, difficulty urinating, they are usually experiencing complications with the prostate. If not stimulated enough or at all, the prostate can enlarge and cause these problems, and in extreme cases, cause benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) — also called prostate gland enlargement.
As I mentioned earlier, prostate stimulation doesn't ever have to mean penetration if you don't want it to. You can successfully massage the prostate from the perineum, or the skin in between the anus and the testicles. This soft patch of skin is directly beneath the prostate, so pressure and vibration on this area is wonderful for foreplay. However, if you are preparing for anal penetration, massaging the perineum and anus with a vibrator is a great way to ease tension in the muscles and relax the sphincters. If you're a fan of or are interested in oral play, light kissing on the perineum does very well along with testicle stimulation. Any and all foreplay is encouraged when aiming towards prostate play, this way both people are hot and ready to play around! Depending on your toy, prepare your finger or toy with the appropriate lubricant and start by massaging the area to not only spread the lubricant all over, but to start teasing the anus. A tip I use often is to warm the lubricant to body temperature in my hands first so it isn't as shocking to your partner. Using all these tips and starting points, I think we're ready to talk about the act itself; locating the prostate!
P Marks the SpotPreparing yourself for anal play is often forgotten about, kind of like foreplay. Most people think you can just jump into sex, anal or vaginal, but preparing your body is one of the most important steps to sex! The vulva can self lubricate and clean, but the anus doesn't do that. This is why we put together a few more tips for preparing your booty!
- RELAX – before doing anything, it’s important to relax both the mind AND body. This beginning preparation is essential to a successful session. A hot shower, soothing music, a body massage or a combination of all three will do the trick.
- TIME – it’s wise to set aside AT LEAST an hour. Two hours is best. Anything less and it would be best just to wait until you have the spare time to dedicate. This isn’t like traditional masturbation with the penis, where most guys can get off in a few minutes. This exploration will take some time and you may pause here and there to catch your breath or reposition.
- TOYS vs FINGERS – fingers are okay to start, but using dedicated prostate toys is better. Most toys have a Hill and a Valley. The Hill is to poke and milk the prostate, while the Valley is great for light pressure. Usually the Hill is closer to the top, followed by the Valley below, but there are so many different prostate toys in different shapes and sizes!
- BOWEL MOVEMENT – try to have one of these an hour before starting and before the shower. It’s not a requirement, but it could help avoid a messy situation. On a side note, you could even douche. I don’t find this necessary, however, if it gives you peace of mind, then it's a great suggestion!
- HAVE EVERYTHING READY – this means having lube, towels, everything within arms reach. The last thing you want is to have to run and get something while enjoying yourself. That's just plain distracting.
When going for the main course, remember to go slow and take your time. The prostate is similar to the G-Spot where it's much easier to stimulate when already aroused. Have fun with foreplay first and don't rush the main course. All these appetizers look yummy too!
- Get squeaky clean! This means taking a shower or bath to cleanse the area in and around the rectum. This may or may not be necessary for you, but some people dislike coming into contact with fecal matter when doing sexy things.
- Trim those nails! Jagged edges are a no-no down there.
- Get into a comfortable position that allows you to easily reach around and insert your finger into your anus. We personally recommend you lie flat on your back, knees bent with feet pulled toward your butt. Placing a pillow or Liberator Ramp under your booty may be helpful.
- Apply a few drops of lube on your index finger and/or anus and gently slide it into the rectum. Stop when you get to the second knuckle. Then curl the tip of the finger up, toward the belly button.
- Now, GENTLY feel around in there. You probably won’t feel much of anything pleasurable. But pay close attention. There is an area that’ll give you a very slight tingle or buzz once you hit it. Just be patient, the sensation varies from guy to guy. If you still don’t feel it, adjust the depth a bit.
Toys for the Tush
Prostimulator by Blush - This beginner's beauty is one of our most popular selling prostate toys! This is an ideal beginners shape since it has a Hill and Valley, and it's a non-silicone toy. That's an important tip because we like to recommend using a silicone lubricant to first start off adventuring back there, but most of the time toys are silicone dipped or made totally out of silicone. This guy is made of a TPR plastic that is compatible with silicone lube! Picking this guy up and a bottle of maybe, say, some Pjur Backdoor Glide, and you've got yourself an amazing beginners kit!
Optimale DUO C-Ring & Prostate Massager - You know, I think I'm a little bias when it comes to this toy, because I think this is the sexiest cock ring you could buy. Anything that hugs and tugs the perineum and prostate like that is a friend of mine! This is a really great toy for someone who knows they love prostate, since this toy almost does the work for you. Wearing this as you penetrate or even please yourself, the tug from the ring will then pull the prostate toy back, releasing pressure. Your motion will rock the toy back and forth, hence releasing or adding pressure based on the position. Or, if you prefer manual fun, the little blue joystick is exactly that; a joystick for your prostate! This gives you full control of just the prostate toy to apply or release pressure from the prostate and milk it manually.
Renegade Revive - This blue beauty is a vibrating prostate toy. Some men prefer vibration for extra stimulation. As much as pressure alone is sensational, vibration can just add a whole different dynamic to prostate play! This is a very beginner/intermediate friendly toy and has lusciously rumbly vibration. A lower frequency of vibration is ideal for anal toys since the muscles respond and will relax better vs. a higher frequency/buzzy toy. This toy is also rechargeable, which is unique to this type of toy. Strangely enough, most vibrating prostate toys come with a bullet inserted. This one is magnetically recharged, which also ensures that it's waterproof for fun in any situation.
Just like any new activity, prostate isn't for everyone. Some men are already too sensitive and direct prostate stimulation can be too overwhelming for the senses. If all your body can handle is indirect (external) stimulation, don't worry! There's a world of vibrators out there that can provide different types of vibration and patters for you to enjoy externally. For those interested in these toys or bigger and better toys to play with, visit the Prostate section of our website to browse the rest, or come in to ask about specific products and techniques. I hope this blog shed some light on the subject! The best first step to trying something new is reading all about it!