To be truthful, when we think of tantra sex, we thinks of holding back how you perform and finish during sexual acts. Tantra started back in India and dates back over a thousand years. According to Dawn Cartwright, a famous tantra instructor and the person that started the Chandra Bindu Tantra Institute, “Tantra is an ancient meditation with roots in both Hindu and Tibetan Buddhist spirituality.” Although tantra involves study, meditation, and breath-work, the aspect that people are usually most intrigued by how these practices lead to fantastic SEX!
Cartwright tells us, “Tantra effects every part of human experience, including sex, as potential for personal transformation and self-awareness. For the tantric, life is a meditation. being at one with yourself, your partner and the world around you. Every thing you do — drinking, breathing, dancing, making love — can be part of your tantric identity.
The idea behind tantric sex in the Hindu spiritual tradition is to feel at one with your partners pleasure and body, it is a way to achieve sexual enlightenment. Tantric sex play is based on very slow sensual penetration with a focus on synchronized breathing, touching, eye contact, and intimacy with your partner. Unlike regular sex, orgasm is not the goal, the goal is to stay connected as one while having sex.
Tantric practices are about focusing your sexual energy to flow through us Naturally, adds Barbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century. Carrellas explains that although you can have quick Tantric sex, be mindful of your partners breathing and movement. It’s all a journey, You need to slow it all down.
Slower intercourse actually benefits women more, anyway. Women take more time to get sexually aroused, so tantric sex is actually more in tune with the female sexual response system. When a man taking his time and going slow with your entire body, and not rushing you to climax? You could have worse problems.
There’s not really a perfect plan for hours of tantric sex but there are a few guiding principles:
Breathing: Just like in yoga, focusing on your breathing helps to put you in the moment and make you more mindful, and it also moves energy within your body.
Slowing down: We recommend the “3 for 30” approach. Meaning if you would normally do 30 strokes of something, do only three in the same period of time. Tantra is obviously not for impatient people.
Eye gazing: “In tantra, we use eye gazing as the gateway into the soul, It puts you into a deep, altered state with your lover.” (So maybedoggy style isn’t the best place to start if you’re looking for a tantric sex life.)
Undulating: Moving your body helps move that all-important energy around. Moving your pelvis and PC muscle [the pubococcygeus,used as an energy pump, not just as a physical fuck muscle. Imagine the energy that’s in your genitals moving up your spine into the rest of your body, over the top of your head, and onto your partner’s body.” Just don’t laugh while you’re imagining this. It really does work.
Another wonderful tantric practice you can try is called the Daily Devotion, recommended by sex therapist and tantra practitioner Jacqueline Hellyer. The way it works is you and your partner spoon every day in the morning with him lying directly behind you. He inserts his penis into you and keeps it there for five to 10 minutes. Hellyer recommends, “Just lying there, breathing together. No movement, maybe the odd vaginal squeeze. Feel what happens.”
Yab Yum Position
If barely moving during sex does not excite you, you can also experiment with the traditional tantric sex position Yab Yum, which is supposed to encourage more intimacy and connection between partners. Yab Yum is where a woman sits in the man’s lap wrapping her legs around his waist, with both partner’s arms around each other and both people’s root chakras (or genitals) connected. Obviously, if it has anything to do with sex, Carrie Bradshaw has tried it. There’s a hilarious scene in Sex and the City where the girls go to a private tantric massage workshop and watch a live demonstration of a man getting his dong massaged. It’s pretty amazing.
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