How to bring Sex Toys into the Bedroom.
This is an idea that is intimidating for a lot of people for a lot of different reasons.
Woman: "Lets try using a vibrator"
Man: "Are you trying to replace me"
Sex toys aren't meant to replace anyone, they're meant to enhance a sexual experience whether that be solo or together, who does't want a better sexsperience? It brings a whole new meaning to "Netflix and Chill."
Approaching the subject with your significant other can be a little nerve racking but hey communication in the bedroom is essential! Maybe start by asking your partner if there is anything they would like to try to spice things up or if they have any fantasies they would like to explore or if they're open to the idea of trying Sex Toys, the worst that's going to happen is they'll say no and you don't need that kind of negativity in your life anyway! If they are open to the idea of trying new things but don't know where to begin or are a little nervous then start off slow.
If your aiming to try bondage then there are a lot of things you can begin with that are not intimidating and are beginner friendly. You can start off with sensory play which by definition is taking one or more senses away from someone to heighten all other senses. Try a blindfold, handcuffs or a massage candle. While blindfolding your partner, put headphones on them so they are not able to see or hear you and the anticipation of what could happen can be a lot of fun! Maybe add a whip, crop or paddle for a little bit of impact play, this can be especially fun if your partner can't see you and does not know what to expect.
Using toys together for the first time can be a lot of fun but also a little intimidating. I recommend trying a toy that is designed specifically for couples to use together. There are so many options in this category so let me break it down to make it easier for you.
Vibrating Penis Rings
Probably the most common couples toy sold are Vibrating Penis Rings. They're designed for the male to wear on the penis and have a vibrator attached or built in so that the woman feels vibration on the clitoris while usually in a grinding position. The band of the ring also helps the male to maintain an erection longer and feel some residual vibration. The only down side to vibrating penis rings are that while penetrating your partner the vibration/contact on the clitoris is constantly being broken so for the 70%-75% of women who need constant clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, a vibrating penis ring is not always the best option.
Female Wearing Couples Toys
They finally came out with couples toys for the women to wear!! Our prayers have been answered! So for the vast majority of women who need constant clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm there are couples toys meant for the woman to wear during intercourse. My personal favorites are the We-Vibe Chorus and The Eva. The We Vibe chorus is a toy that's in the shape of a "C" almost and one end of it gets put onto of the clitoris and then the other end gets inserted in the vagina and your partner penetrates you underneath. I know that sounds intimidating " how am i going to comfortably fit a toy and my partner in my vagina" The part of the We-Vibe Chorus that gets inserted is actually flat and tucks perfectly up onto the G-spot and usually does not interfere with the penis. But because this toy is worn by the female, while your partner is penetrating you the clitoral stimulator does not leave the clitoris giving you constant stimulation. The Eva is completely different in the sense that its mostly for the female. The Eva is a little toy that looks like a little bug that has two cars/wings that tuck into the outer labia and your labia keeps it in place over the clitoris and gives you constant clitoral stimulation. The one thing you want to keep in mind when considering this toy is that it really only works in a couple of positions like or if you are on top in a grinding position. Any position where gravity is against you like doggy style for example the Eva will likely fall out.
Bringing toys into the bedroom can be a lot of fun and enhance any sexual activity. Talking to your partner about what your comfortable with and what your not is extremely important. Try shopping together, it can make the whole experience a lot more fun and you'll also prevent bringing home something your partner is completely put off by or intimated by. If you find that something is not for you or your partner then just keep trying, being open to a new experience is half the fun!
Written by Sonia
Manager and Sex Educator at Intimates Boutique
Have been Mgr of Intimates Boutique for 7 years. I am certified in sexual education and a sex toy expert. Sharing my knowledge is one of my biggest passions. Hope you enjoy the information.
- Sonia Williams