Feeling like the Queen that you are! A Guide to Body-Positive Sex for the Curvy Woman (Part 1)
You are a curvy girl. Love it, embrace it, and take pride in who you are and what you look like. You know that society can be cruel to you but you know that you can be your own worst enemy. Intimacy can leave you feeling powerful, inspired, and beautiful. Now, what about the feelings that no one likes to talk about as plus size women? Yes intimacy can leave you feeling on top of the world, but having any type of insecurities of your body can leave you with feelings of vulnerability, anxiety and embarrassment. One of the hardest things to do is put those feelings to rest. It is important to remember that sex is every humans right! You are human too, there is just more of you to love. This two part guide will give you all kinds of tips and tricks for embracing sex again including: Positions for all different types of curvy bodies, advice for feeling confident and sexy, tips for any challenges you might face as a plus size woman during sex, and toys that are catered to women of size. Lets be confident in our sexuality together!
Feeling Sexy in Your Own Skin
Feeling good about yourself is not the easiest thing to do. Before you can feel confident and good in front of your partner, you have to first look in the mirror and see it for yourself. Start by building a relationship with yourself. Do the little things that make you feel great such as treating yourself to a hair appointment, a new piece of lingerie, a fancy new toy. Indulging in a solo, candle lit, playtime session at home with you and your new toy can be the perfect start to feeling sexy. As soon as you start to feel comfortable accepting special attention from yourself, you will feel more at ease receiving the same type of attention from your partner.
The hardest thing to remember when you're standing naked and vulnerable in front of your partner is that they do in fact find you sexually attractive the way that you are. They know what you look like and they love the way you look. Believe it or not, not every person is attracted to the same type of woman. So trust me when I say there is a person out there that will love every inch of your tummy, thick thighs, and big booty.
Remind yourself to be in the moment. Don't waste your time worrying about how you look or if you can do a certain position. Our bodies, no matter what shape or size they are, can be moved and manipulated to find the perfect position that both you and your partner will feel comfortable in.
Repeat after me, "Sexy is not a size". You are not sexy because someone else thinks so... You are sexy because YOU know and believe that you are.
Dressing the Part
Let me start with this: As a bigger girl, you do NOT need to wear or keep lingerie on during sex to look good! However, there are women that feel better wearing a beautiful lacy piece that hugs them in all the right places and there is nothing wrong with that. Heading into your local lingerie boutique and getting advice and properly sized for lingerie can take your game to the next level. There is a type of lingerie for every body type that can hide any insecurities that you may have with your body and accentuate any part of your body that you may want to bring more attention too. You can read a more in depth guide to choosing lingerie for your body type HERE.
Toys for You
Masturbation shouldn't be a hassle or a struggle for you. You shouldn't feel like you have to work extra hard to be able to feel pleasure. Sometimes the extra weight on your body as a plus size lady can turn out to be quit the obstacle when attempting to reach down with any toy. Here are some toys that can solve that problem!
Lets start with the Hitachi Magic Wand, this powerful wand makes for the perfect hand held toy for plus size women. The Hitachi Wand has a long handle that allows for an extra reach giving a better angle to hit any hard to reach spots. This toy has 4 different levels of vibration intensity and 4 different vibration patterns offering a wonderful treat to your senses.
Up next are the Jack Rabbit Signature Thrusting Vibrator and the Jack Rabbit Signature Rocking G Vibrator. You'll find that using these two toys make reaching your goal, very easy! The Thrusting Vibrator has a sleek and smooth dark purple silicone body with attached vibrating rabbit ears for extra stimulation to the clitoris. The head of the vibrator has a powerful thrusting action that eliminates the struggle of having to reach and thrust the toy on your own as our curves can prove to be a challenge to that motion. The Rocking G Vibrator comes in a vibrant turquoise color and has the same self moving feature but instead of thrusting, the bulbous head of the toy rocks forward to stimulate the G-spot.
The Womanizer Plus, is another powerful toy with a long handle that can help you reach over your tummy with ease in order to hit your sweet spot! The Womanizer Plus creates a sucking sensation on your clitoris via air pressure waves. With 12 different intensity levels, along with its long handle, this toy is sure to give you a flexible and gratifying experience.
Looking for a hands free toy to relax and enjoy? Look no further than The Eva. The Eva is a small bodied vibrator that has two flexible wings on either side that tuck under the labia allowing the Eva to sit on top of the clitoris and send you over the edge with its powerful vibrations, completely hands-free! The Eva can even be worn during intercourse providing stimulation of the clitoris without getting in the way or having to worry about holding it in place.
This next toy can be used as a couples toy, used during intercourse or during solo play as well. The We-Vibe Sync is an incredible app-based toy that can be controlled by the touch of a button. The Sync is a flexible, U-shaped toy that is comfortable enough to be worn during intercourse, a night on the town, or in bed during solo play time. The smaller arm gets inserted vaginally while the bigger outer arm sits on top of the clitoris. Here's the beauty of this toy as a bigger girl, you can lay back and relax letting the vibrations take over without ever having to reach or struggle to change the vibration intensity or vibration mode. The app allows you to increase or decrease vibration intensity, change the pulsation/vibration modes or even turn the vibration off altogether without any hassle. This App-based toy completely changes the game for bigger girls!
The Lovense Hush is an app controlled vibrating butt plug for any plus size ladies out there that like anal play. If you've got some junk in your trunk, you know its a blessing AND a curse. Reaching back and attempting any sort of anal play with vibrating toys is almost impossible during solo play. Allow the Lovense Hush to change that for you. Its deep and rumbly vibrations can be easily manipulated on your phone using the Lovense app. Turn the vibrations up or down depending on your preference, switch the vibration modes without ever having to turn around and struggle to reach a button.
Finding the right position during intercourse or fore play when you're a bigger girl can be a serious mission! Feeling like you can't get into a comfortable position or like your tummy is in the way, can be very discouraging while trying to have a sexy night with your partner. If you find that you are having issues with positioning, a position aid could be a great investment for you and your love life.
The Liberator Wedge (Plus): The Liberator Wedge changes sex lives. The firm and supporting foam angles and lifts your body in the perfect direction that offers many benefits. The Wedge is a 27 degree angled pedestal that in general will freshen up any old sex position that you're used to by allowing deeper penetration, a better angle to stimulate the g-spot, and better access for oral sex without getting that sore neck that everyone hates. Also for bigger women that may have a tummy that gets in the way of their session, sliding the thicker wedge under your bottom will let gravity take care of your problem by forcing your tummy to fall backwards and out of the way. The Liberator Wedge Plus is a wider wedge as well at 30 inches wide, to accommodate a variety of body sizes.
The Liberator Wanda Magic Wand Toy Mount: is specifically designed to host the Hitachi Magic Wand and give you a hands-free experience with your wand. Although it is made to be paired with the Hitachi, you can pair the Wanda with almost any wand. This position aid is wonderful in assisting you with reaching over your tummy if doing so is a challenge. A struggle that women in general (not just plus size) face is holding their vibrator in place for long amounts of time. The Liberator Wanda solves that problem. The wedge is shaped to cradle all your curves in just the right way, offering you support and comfort in a multitude of positions. The cover is made out a soft velvet material that is washable and has a waterproof liner underneath, making it easy to clean as well.
Read on to Part Two for the best positions for you!
- Melissa S