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BDSM and Fetish Guide

 First let’s break down what BDSM means. The word BDSM breaks downto Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sado/Masochism.BDSM is sexual activity involving practices like the use of physicalrestraints, granting and relinquishing of control and the infliction ofphysical pain.

  • Dominance and Submission.
    A relationship dynamic where power andcontrol are negotiated and exchanged for erotic enjoyment.
  • Sado and Masochism.
    When people erotically enjoy either inflicting(Sadist) or receiving (Masochism) physical or psychological pain andsuffering. Some of the most common ways people explore BDSM isthrough Impact Play, Sensory Play and Breath Play.
  • Impact Play
    typically involves tools like Whips, Crops and Paddles. Itheightens other sensory experiences and provides a control/power exchange. When trying impact play you want to make sure you know where to hit versus where not to hit. You DO NOT want to hit Kidneys,Joints and anywhere around the eyes. You CAN hit large muscle groups and soft tissue such as butt cheeks.
  • Sensory Play
    is when you suppress one or more of the senses toheighten all other senses, heighten arousal and/or playing with powerdynamics. For example, when you blindfold someone and take awaytheir ability to see what you are doing they are forced to rely on othersenses such as smell, hearing and touch. Massage Candles are also afun sensory play tool especially when used in conjunction with othersensory play tools such as blindfolds or handcuffs. You can also make aplaylist on your phone and putting headphones on your partners earsso that they cannot hear what you are doing, which puts all othersenses on high alert. Or while blindfolding your partner you can use avibrator on erogenous zones like the clitoris, nipples, penis andtesticles. Some of your most commonly used Sensory Play toys areBlindfolds, Massage oils, Feather ticklers, Massage Candles, Restraints,Wartenburg wheels and E-stim toys.


defined as a form of sexual desire that is linked directly to anobject, body part or material for gratification. For example, liking towear high heels during sex can be a preference, but it becomes a Fetishwhen the person depends on the presence of heels to experiencearousal and reach orgasm. There are dozens of Fetishes in the worldand as long as your fetish is not harming someone (nonconsensually) orillegal, there is no need to feel shame in exploring what turns you on.Some of the most commonly known fetishes include.


• Bondage is the act of consensually restraining or blinding apartner. This can include using rope, straps, tape, cuffs, or otherrestraint systems that limit movement.• On the giving end, bondage can be visually stimulating and offeran opportunity to explore the power dynamics that come withsubduing a partner.• On the receiving end, bondage can offer a unique somatic experience centered around the sensation of the restraint as well as how the body feels subdued in a certain position. It also allows for release of control and responsibility, putting your partner in control.

Domination and Submission

• Dom and Sub is part of a segment of BDSM and is a form of exchange that involves either relinquishing control or exercising power over a partner.  • It is important to have open communication before engaging in any type of BDSM play to establish limits and boundaries, as well as safe words.  • In this relationship, a Sub would surrender control to their partner (on consensual terms). That could mean allowing themselves to be bound and controlled during sex, being told what to do or initially relying on the approval and instruction of their partner.  • Contrarily, a Dominant would accept control of their partner, which can be sexual, emotional, physical and more. For example, a Dominant may put a collar on the neck of their Submissive, attach a leash and claim them as property.

Sexual Role Play

• Sexual role play is a very common and self-explanatory fetish. This fetish entails acting out a fantasy and assuming the roles of your fantasy scenario.  • Role play scenarios can include but are not limited to, teacher/student, mailman/housewife, boss/subordinate.  • Exploring role play can be quite liberating. Letting go and assuming the role of a character can give you the courage to act out fantasies or behave in a way that is out of your norm. 

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